Q: I married a non-Christian and they don't take my faith seriously. How can I continue to grow in my faith and still be a good spouse?
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A: This has got to be one of the hardest things for a Christian to go through. That’s why we make such a point about Christians choosing to marry Christians. There’s a reason for that admonition in Scripture, and the reason is right here – the heartbreak faced by believers who cannot share the most important part of their lives with their spouses. It’s very difficult. It’s okay to be disappointed and frustrated. It’s okay to validate your feelings. Perhaps you stepped into your marriage when you weren’t walking with Christ. Or perhaps you were a Christian and just ignored God’s admonition because you were so “in love.” Or maybe you became a Christian after you got married and now you’ve got this vibrant relationship that you would love to share with your husband or wife.
Whatever the case, once you are married, you are married. So what do you do? Don’t ever give up. We sometimes hear people in counseling say, “God is telling me to leave my marriage so I can marry this other person who is a Christian.” And God doesn’t do that. God never contradicts himself, so when he says in his Word that he hates divorce, he’s never going to tell anyone to get divorced. You’re in the marriage for a reason, and God will work it out to his glory. So your job is to pray and pray faithfully! Realize that you may be the only person praying for your spouse – at least in the ways you alone can pray for him or her.
Even if some [husbands or wives] refuse to obey the good news, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. 1 Peter 3:1-2
Go to the Lord of the universe because you love your spouse. Pray for his or her salvation, and then love your husband or wife with the kind of love Jesus showed you – patient, kind, forgiving, understanding of your flaws. Show respect and honor to your spouse. Love the way Jesus loves him or her. Such love may be able to love him or her right to Jesus.
*For more practical marriage advice, check out The Great Marriage Q&A Book. It's available in our online bookstore!